Little Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Well, you've done the right thing, says MommyBut Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap.小约...
A person with six children or a person with $6 million? Why?The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足？为什么？当然...
Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?Father: I hope so -- he certainly can’t make a living by kissing girls!邻居：您认为您的儿子会把在大学里学的东西全忘光吗？父亲：我...
Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?妻子：亲爱的！快看那些士兵，他们看经过的那位漂亮女郎都看得发呆了。丈夫：士兵？什么士兵？...
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose（建议，求婚） to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the pas...
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often, but he never took his son, Tom, because he was too young....
A man was wandering around a fairground（露天市场） and he happened to see a fortuneteller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down."Ah....." said the woman as she gazed...
I'm an editor of a newspaper. One day a foreigner made a call to me. He said in Chinese that he liked our newspaper very much, which made me very happy. Then I said "Could you tell me some impression...
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see...
Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring."Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony（单调） . Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour?...
A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal（直肠的） thermometer tucked（使折叠，收拢） behind his ear. He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a t...
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began: "My name is Stone, and I'm even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or the...
A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she...
Three good friends were driving along on the highway one Saturday: a doctor, a teacher, and a lawyer. All of a sudden, a brand-new SUV（运动型多功能车） cut them off. In an attempt to miss the shiny big v...
Three older ladies were discussing the travails（艰苦劳动，分娩的痛苦） of getting older.One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise（蛋黄酱） in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't...
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it...
The Cohens were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry."No fancy（想象的，奇特的） stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pul...
A female newscaster（新闻广播员） is interviewing the leader of a youth club:Interviewer: "So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?"Mr. Jones: "We're going to...
Three guys are debating who has the best memory.The first guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade class."The second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery School（幼儿园） !"N...
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer."Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent.""One penny?!" exclaimed（大叫，呼喊） the guy.The barman replied, "Yes."So, the guy glances ov...
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always smart enought to be accepted by the college.One day the coach brought...
Daddy? How did I come into this world?""Well, my child, someday I'll have to tell you anyway.""So why not today? Please!""OK, but listen carefully.""Mom and Dad met each other in a cybercafe. In the r...
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket（小盒） as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave（雕刻，铭记） her name on it?" the jeweler asked.The customer thought for a moment, and then...
My father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. At a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for Mother, but the family home would go to us five children if sh...
On a beautiful Octorber day, my husband and I were taking a drive through the Georgia mountains. When traffic slowed to snail's pace, we assumed there was road construction or an accident ahead.My hus...
A resident in a posh（时髦的，漂亮的） hotel breakfast room called over（点名） the head waiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile."Good Morning sir. What a wonderful morning. I'd like two...
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation（集会，集合） for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientifi...
